Date

Balance of TV License

Stories

24/12/04

£84

Broadcast from the ice rink at Somerset House.

Danny says David looks like John Denver today. He said not to make out that he was uncomfortable in front of a live audience when he was wearing a t shirt saying ‘worlds leading financial advisor’ and pointing at your chest and coughing loudly to attract attention to yourself.

Story 1: David - This time of year people find money very difficult to come by, here are some ideas of how you can spend a pound which will be very well spent.  Danny accused him of recycling the same item from last year. David defended himself by saying it was a different pound. Danny stated it was the same joke though. David stated he will do it anyway as there is nothing else.  Buy your friends a packet of vegetable seeds and some of the things I recommend are the purple dragon carrots which are very good as they are purple. Danny stated that carrots were originally purple and were bred orange in the 18th century in a tribute to Queen Juliana.The other thing is the Bedfordshire champion onion. Danny asked if he was just going to reel off amusing vegetables.  And also the ailsa craig tomatoes.

Come summertime they will still remember you.

Story 2:  David - 2 out of 3 shoppers are ready for chip and pin, but the big problem is the guy in front of you is going to forget his pin number.  If he looks like an egghead move to another queue as they will forget their number   Amy questioned what an egghead looks like? -  a boffin, a boffin looks like a la-de-da a la-de-da looks like an egghead. Thus the circle goes.

If he is wearing oddsocks or shoes it means they are absent minded so they will forget their pin number as well.

50% of people use anniversary dates as pin numbers – if they forget their number ask him what his birth date is, and it will probably be his number.

Story 3: This came out yesterday - for 50% of us our biggest regret this year was not saving any money, it is very sad I know.  DB asked did u run this by Mrs Kuo in bed last night?  He said no she was finishing some painting around the house – I told her the porch needed painting.  Danny asked you sent your wife out to paint the porch? He said he did as it needed doing.

23/12/04

£85

Story 1: The government recovered money for employees who where not paid the minimum wage.
Story 2: GW Pharmaceuticals say that cannabis is good for you. They have extracted elements from the plant and say that if you spray it on your tongue it will help with MS.
Story 3: Odds on a white Christmas are 11:4 and no snow 1:3.

Other stories of the day:  Banker loses £7.5m sexism claim
Brussels blow to Microsoft upheld 

Amy gave David a mini stationary for Christmas.

22/12/04

£86
Two pounds today special compensation from Danny to see if we are on our toes.

Story 1: AXA Was fined £500,000 for misleading advertising. Danny relayed a story where he made a promotion video for £5000.00. He was contacted by the News Of World and told he was fronting a pyramid system and had to give the money to 'Captain Cash' Carole Smilie and June Whitfield.
Story 2: The Dow Jones  went up 98 points because of a Santa Clause rally or the jingle bell jaunt. This happens because fund managers have to clean up their accounts before reporting to their investors. This is called window dressing.
Story 3: Canabis is good for you. Danny wants David to start with this tomorrow.

Other stories of the day:  Police hunt Belfast bank raiders
Shops set for final festive push  

Today David was wearing a child's white sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up above his elbows and WHITE socks.

21/12/04

£88

Story 1: At this time of year many people ask David what the FTSE will do next year but David admits to not know. David said there are 2 types of people: those who don't know and those who don't know they don't know. After much press by Danny, David said it's going to go up slightly.
Story 2: Doorstep lenders are facing a probe.
Story 3: AMICUS are not happy about the fact that their employees are not getting a Christmas Bonus.

Other stories of the day:  Disney settles disclosure charges
Airline awaits wheelchair ruling 

20/12/04

£89

Story 1:Virgin credit cards confirmed that we spend £4500 every year going out on a Saturday night.
Story 2: Stelios started EasyPizza on Friday.
Story 3: Abbey National say we waste £1.3 billion every Christmas on unwanted presents like chocolates, socks and smellies. David asked his wife if she wanted a fridge for Christmas. 

Other stories of the day:  Britons 'spending more overseas'
Baugur buys UK's Big Food Group 

David's son was reading A Christmas Carole over the weekend and his son said we could learn a lot from Scrooge. David's not that keen on gift giving.

17/12/04

£90

Story 1: Coca Cola is launching new soft drinks in 2005 together with a new health drink, Full Throttle. Sales are not doing well in general; people in India use Coca Cola to kill inserts. David says that you should buy Coke for the dividend, as even in a down year it probably gives a good return. Pepsi has just launched Flavor Splash but Cadbury's Schweppes doesn't have any new products. David had a great drink in Singapore called Kickapoo Joy Juice.
Story 2: Gillette launched a new Venus razor for women based on the Power Shave. Danny asked David how often he shaved, and after much deliberation he gave the answer - twice a week. David wants to know why men can't use Immac like women do.
Story 3: Barclays is introducing cash point machine with a new anti-skimming device. Danny and Amy claim that cash machines have security cameras but I've never seen one (guess that makes them pretty secure!). Danny claims he's never heard about this skimming scam.  Perhaps Danny is unwittingly participating in the scam!

Other stories of the day: Strong quarterly growth for Nike
GUS takeover rumours 

16/12/04

£91

Story 1: Phytopharm have been looking for ways for people to loose weight. They've found Hoodia gordonii cactus in the Kalahari desert. The local bush men suck on this plant which stops them from wanting to eat anything else.
Story 2: Friends Provident have discovered that most of us are liars. They found that 2 out of 5 women don't tell the partners when they've bought something and 1 out of 5 men won't tell their wives what they drunk the night before. Friends Provident want to make sure that they trade ethically and invest in no vice. David talked about the FTSE4Good not doing well as apposed to the Vice fund that is doing really well. David said that this is evidence that being ethical does not pay.

DAVID WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COURTS STORY??, 'SB Capital have agreed to supply all the people who ordered products for Courts furniture stores. Yet another Yellow card for this!

Other stories of the day:  It's not easy going green
Shoppers 'wary' of chip and pin 

David thought he was going to die last night after his wife gave him a Mexican stew.

15/12/04

£92

Story 1: Treviso in Italy has bought 6 donkeys to save them cutting the grass. This will save the council £69,000 per year. (Where does David find these stories, I can't find any reference to this!) David is warning people that although companies are planning to employ more people next year you need to be aware that animals may take your job. Some examples, monkey picking tea, monkeys go up in caves in Indonesia to pick swallows nest, etc.
Story 2: Google will be scanning books for people to read online. Six large universities/libraries are working with Google on this. Danny questioned the financial aspects of this story.
Story 3: Faith Shoes was sold for £64 million to Bridge Point. They also own Adams the children's cloths retailer. Faith keeps in constant contact with the store area via a PDA.

Other stories of the day:  Hollywood to sue net film pirates
Giving financial gifts to children 

David had a glimpse of his Christmas present yesterday because his wife asked him what he wanted and she's  is going to get chain saw.

14/12/04

£93

Story 1: Bank of England once again warned David Kuo could find any reference thanking us for helping out the economy by spending. David said that this bubble of spending should be let down gently.
Story 2: Insurance companies are warning people about keeping Christmas presents in your car. David explained how his car has been burgled several times under the same street light.
David suggest you lock all your main presents in the boot and put unwanted gifts on the back seat like foot spars and loafers.
Story 3: JJB sports are slashing prices Danny and Amy said that their shops are the most sole destroying shops. David said he likes FootLocker but Danny and Amy said all shops that just sell shoes are sole destroying.

Other stories of the day:  EA in exclusive NFL games deal
 United Airlines imposes wage cuts

Danny had a shower during David's slot.

13/12/04

£94

Story 1: The Office of Fair Trading are investigating online grocery sales as they think you are not getting what you ordered. Amy says she won't trust anyone to do her shopping. Danny is very worried about giving anyway his DNA online. David's wife went down to her local supermarket and went to one of those bins where all the out of date of food is and found some moldy bread.
Story 2: Another regulatory body is looking at companies who send out competition winners who need to call 09 numbers. David suggests that you remove the 9 key from your phone and realise that there is no such thing as a free prize.

Other stories of the day:  Supermarkets 'fail' health test
How to get ahead in advertising

10/12/04

£95

Story 1: Marks and Spencer's are about to introduce male crèches in their stores. Danny said this is the worse place he could think of (and I agree...a place full of boring men). The Candy crew then proceeded to discuss their shopping habits and David said that he had some wishes. The first was for an in-store navigation system so that you could enter a product in to the system and the device would direct you to the product. The second was for a person locator (David, have you heard of the mobile phone? It was invented in the 20th century).
Story 2: Peptech has just developed a contraceptive for animals. A small capsule is planted between their shoulders. David said that this was for dogs and wild animals like cheetah. Amy reminded David that cheetah are an endangered species.. Danny suggested that they inject this in to the guys going into the adult crèches.
Story 3: Premier foods has just purchased Birds Custard.

Other stories of the day:  Petrol prices fall as crude dips
GM cuts 10,000 jobs in Germany 

Today Danny allowed Amy and Mark to choose the subjects because it is his sons 18th birthday. He asked David for a subject and he said that in Boston you can now pay for traffic fines with toys. He also wanted people to ring in with bartering stories.

9/12/04

£96

Story 1: Following yesterdays story of Colgate laying off 4,400 jobs, it turns out that if the directors were to stop claiming expenses like 'snow clearing' they wouldn't have had to lay off so many people.
Story 2:Slight interjection were Danny asked David what was the hardest work that he'd even done and apparently David comes from a family of tinkers and had to load aluminum ingots into a furnace.
Story 3: Insurance companies are reminding people that they need to increase their insurance policies to cover new Christmas purchases. Here are David's tips for reducing your insurance risk:
1. Don't put presents under the Christmas tree until Christmas Day.
2. Don't go out to parties. Stay at home and protect your property.
3. Buy second-hand presents. Thieves are only after the latest gadgets.
4. Lock your windows. If the window locks don't work, nail them up.
5. Leave shoes and slippers lying around the house for thieves to trip over.
Danny explained that just leaving one light on does not achieve anything as thieves call it the fanny light.

Other stories of the day:   Bank on course to freeze UK rates
 Nintendo's DS beats sales target 

Listener's feedback:

From Ali the Footman

Interesting to note that none of the Candy Gang spotted the link between his Monopoly story and Amy Lame.

Sometimes I think he is too subtle for them.

In case you didn't know Monopoly was invented by Charles Darrow in the early '30s who  decided to invent a board game to amuse himself. He fondly recalled family holidays in Atlantic City, New Jersey so he used that place for the original street names and Railway Stations.

Will there be anything else, Sir?

8/12/04

£97

Story 1: David explained how there are 4 streets on the Monopoly board (UK version) where the house prices are below £263,000 and where the owners will not have to pay inheritance tax. Whitechapel, Old Kent Road, Kings Cross and Angel.
Story 2: Colgate is axing 4,400 jobs world wide. David thinks the reason is because 3 out of 4 people squeeze the last drop out of the tube. David seems to attached the shampoo bottle to a towel and swing it round his head to squeeze the last drop of liquid out. David suggested that a better way to save money is to re-mortgage your house (only 1 out 8 do this).
Danny gave us a quote from P. J. O'Rourke on advice in life 'marry your second wife first'. I think this would also save a lot of money..

Other stories of the day:  How to avoid a Christmas debt hangover
Young people 'make best savers' 

David told us of a sushi bar in Japan where they pull fish out of a tank, carve slices of flesh off it and put it back in tank. Ouch!!

7/12/04

£98

Story 1: There is a shortage of Sony PlayStation 2 because a boat is stuck in the Suez canal. Apparently retailers are taking names but you have to buy a lot of games at the same time.
Story 2: Retailers are getting really worried about the amount of money people are spending this year. On average we will only spend £813.00. This is £55.00 less than last year. 
Story 3: Air  Polonia (budget Polish airline) has gone into liquidation.
Story 4: Danny asked David for another story but he didn't have one, so all of them walked out of the studio and left David to ramble about how he vacuumed his head!

Danny asked David to try on a little rubber mini skirt.

Other stories of the day:  Pantos splash on the cash for theatres
Giving your staff more freedom 

6/12/04

£99

Story 1: Starbucks - David said that following his story some weeks ago saying they're increasing their prices and this is working really well.
Story 2: MacDonald's new menu is doing really well.
Story 3: British Market Research Board have done a survey to find out why kids are over weight these days, it's not because because they are eating too many Starbucks and MacDonald's (yeah right says Danny). It's because they are sitting in front of their computers.

Other stories of the day: Halifax predicts house-price fall
How privatisation has changed Britain 

David said that he had a maid working on a sewing machine in his house  

3/12/04

£100

Story 1: David is recommending that people insure their turkeys because he's worried that people will get their turkeys stolen over Xmas.
Story 2: Courts yesterday told customers that if they paid a deposit with cash they will not get their money back. If, however, they used a credit card they will be able to claim it back from the credit card company.
Story 3:'Which' are telling people to ask what the cost of having this card will be when applying for store card

Danny asked David to eat a chocolate covered ant during the show. Aftwerwards, ants legs kept popping out of David's month.

2/12/04

£101

Danny got a bit 'touched' this morning, but he left it to the listener's imagination as to what did the touching... the consequence of this was that there were several technical difficulties which delayed David's arrival.
Story 1: M&S has broken with High Street tradition by declaring an independent sale day. All goods at M&S are 20% off today. Danny thought it might be an opportunity for them to sell gloves with 2 fingers missing.
Story 2: Women & married couples are better Christmas shoppers. Amy inquired as to the criteria for this judgment. Danny said that they create lists, set £ limits and stick to them religiously. Danny tried hard to get David to splurge 70p more for his granny's fondly-desired broach, but he said the jeweler would have to take a couple of diamonds from it before he'd purchase it.
Story 3: David actually broke with his own tradition and found yet ANOTHER fresh story to report today...wow, David! 2 in one day!! Well done. This story was about how water bills will increase 15% over the next few years. David felt this was appropriate; after all, we Londoners get water piped to our homes and aren't required to walk to the end of the street to collect it as he did in Hong Kong as a child. He also commented that many of us don't know how much we pay a year for water, which averages £300. Danny also encouraged us to conserve water by not flushing EVERY time the toilet is used.

01/12/04

£102

Story 1: Topps Tiles have increased their profit due to the fact that everyone is tiling their houses. David said that he wanted to tile his bedroom similar to his house in Hong Kong.
Story 2. People are more and more discarding their one and two pence coins. David said he saves all his. Danny has started a fund for David so please send your one and two pence coins to the studio. Maybe David will beat out the record set by the Ohio man recently (see story of 11/18/04)

Danny explained how in his youth the ceiling in his bedroom was tiled with polystyrene tiles and they had a habit of coming off. One day a tile floated down and landed on his head. At this point his mum popped and said 'what on earth are you doing?'.

Other stories of the day:  Abbey cards in net security scare
Screensaver tackles spam websites 

Listener's feedback:

Feed back from Sylvia re yesterday's story.

Whilst listening to Dr Kuo's story this morning about cheque fraud, I thought to myself "this sounds familiar..."  I then looked for the EVENING STANDARD that I bought on my way home yesterday.  On page 10 there is an article, and I quote:

"INTERNET ADVERTISERS WARNED OF 'CRIMINAL CASHBACK' SCAM Detectives are warning of a new cash fraud dubbed "criminal cashback", targeted at people selling goods on internet sites or in classified adverts.

A criminal asks to send a cheque for more than the asking price, proposing that the vendor returns the difference.  The cheque shows in an account as a credit.  However, if it is fraudulent and bounces, its value will be taken out.  The victim, not the bank, is liable for this loss".

Hmmm.  David, David, David.

Back to your old tricks again eh?